" I never thought I would be a first - time mom at 43 , but I am so thankful we have our Logos and would n’t alter our journey for anything ! "
mention : This post contains mentions of pregnancy personnel casualty .
Despite what we might’ve learned in sex ed back in the day, getting pregnant is not very easy for a lot of people. In theUnited States, about one in four women (26%) have difficulty getting pregnant or carrying a pregnancy to term, according to theCDC. Recently, Iaskedmembers of theBuzzFeed Communityto open up about their fertility journeys. Here is what some people bravely shared:
Below are some definition for acronyms and term that will be see throughout this post :
PCOS ( polycystic ovary syndrome ) is a hormonal condition that often charwoman in their 20 and 30s will get diagnosed with . Those with PCOS may not ovulate ; they have gamy level of androgens and have pocket-size cysts on their ovary .
IUI ( intrauterine insemination ) is a procedure that consists of grade prepared sperm into the womb .
IVF ( in vitro impregnation ) is a procedure that combines eggs and a sperm sampling in a laboratory dish . When the embryo is fecundate , it is then transfer to the uterus .
Clomidis a medication that helps treat those who do n’t ovulate on a regular basis or at all .
1.“My husband and I decided to start our family about seven years ago, and we quickly realized there was an ‘issue.’ I have severe PCOS and do not ovulate on my own. I started gaining weight, and my anxiety got out of control.”
" We started the fertility journey with hormone - perk up medicinal drug and had a successful IUI . Then , when we were quick for our second . We had 4 - 5 go IUIs following , and I was devastated . We decided to switch to a dissimilar birth rate clinic with more 1:1 care .
The waiting cognitive operation after egg retrieval is the most conscientious experience . You hold off for phone calls , and they are n’t always good . We successfully transferred frigid embryos in December 2021 ; our babe girlfriend just wrench 18 months .
We are now getting quick for our next transfer tomorrow ! ! ! terrify , nervous , activated . The retiring seven years have been a tumbler pigeon coaster ofemotions , but I ’m so happy for where I am . "
— baileyditullio
2.“My husband and I were married at 25 and started trying to conceive at 30. Attempted IUI, then IVF from 32–34. I did become pregnant with several IVF rounds but miscarried five times between 8–13 weeks gestation. We never had any answers for our infertility or miscarriages. We tried surrogacy twice, transferring our eggs to a surrogate who never conceived. At that point, we moved to adoption and had been on the waiting list for just a few months when we found out I was pregnant without assistance.”
3.“I was diagnosed with a very unusual case of ovarian cancer at 25, and since at the time I still thought I’d want kids, my oncologist had me IMMEDIATELY start fertility treatments so I could save eggs before any procedures (they weren’t sure if they’d have to perform a full hysterectomy until the very last minute). I had just been dropped by one of my insurances and the other didn’t cover anything related to fertility (the first one probably didn’t either tbh). I had to apply for all kinds of things from different local and national cancer funds and hold fundraisers and yard sales just to be able to afford the shots, and while eventually the Livestrong Foundation came through with supplying all my shots, it didn’t happen until the end of my treatment, so I donated them to someone else at the fertility specialist who may have needed them. I had to drive all over my state just to find pharmacies with the shots in stock.”
" I had no trouble administer the shots because I ’m fine with needles , but it did get uncomfortable as my consistence began to produce a lot of egg . I was seeing specialists in NYC tied to Sloan Kettering , who was treat my cancer , so I had to drive 1.5 hours into the city every single dayspring during my cycle just to get check up on , mostly via vaginal ultrasound .
Many women find those awfully uncomfortable , but it was n’t so bad . I ended up with 16 salubrious executable eggs in the end , but since then , I gave license for them to be thrown aside . It was SO incredibly stressful , but somehow , the importunity of everything going on allow me to just do it and relieve all my panic and anxiousness attacks for after it was all finish . "
— purpletruck35
4.“I’m going on year five of TTC (trying to conceive). I have been through Clomid, IUI, and now round two of IVF (the first ended in a miscarriage). We’ve also been on an adoption waitlist for just about two years. We are mentally, physically, and financially exhausted. If one more person posts a pregnancy announcement, I think I’m going to crack.”
5.“I’ve been happily married since 2006. We decided to try to have a baby about a year after we were married. I went to the doctor and was told I had PCOS and was told it would be hard for me to have children without help. I started out with just simple medication and that didn’t help. I underwent different procedures to check my fallopian tubes and ultrasounds to check for cysts. We then moved to artificial insemination two times and that didn’t work.”
" We were out of chance because our indemnity would n’t compensate anything else . We just keep trying for old age on our own with no luck . We had finally salvage enough money for IVF and tried three disjoined times to retrieve my eggs , again with no circumstances . By this fourth dimension , I was 41 , and age was a factor . I was devastate . My fertility doc suggested we move on to conferrer eggs . My married man and I hash out this option over and over to see if we really wanted to habituate donor eggs .
We both gibe that experience a mob was always so important to us , so we decided this was our last chance , survive all in with everything we had , and take a donor . We buy 16 eggs from an anonymous donor . Twelve fertilized , and eight made it to smash . I break in for my first transfer and was successful ! I screw being fraught and relish every moment of it ! I now have a beautiful Logos who will be a year honest-to-goodness presently , and we still have seven embryo for succeeding use , and we design to have one more . I never thought I would be a first - time mom at 43 , but I am so thankful we have our Logos and would n’t change our journey for anything ! "
— Kelly , 43
6.“I never grew up with the desire to have children, but I wanted my partner’s child. I believed we were good people who would raise good people, which is what the world needs more of. We started trying in our mid-late thirties and after a year or so of nothing, we went to a fertility specialist. We both went through tests that showed no biological reason for our infertility. We did IUI which cost $350 each time. After some time we stopped, and later we ended the journey altogether. The sorrow, frustration, and physical toll that the process already took on us was enough. We don’t want children no matter what, and our happiness and fulfillment don’t hinge on having them.”
" Now we ’re lot with the fall out . integrated sex finally need all intimacy from our relationship . My self - admiration tank as sterility brought out all the unfit thing I ever thought about myself : broken , unlovable , despicable . I am bitter over other multitude having kids , especially those close to me . I ’ve reverse completely inward and spend small time with friends or kinfolk . My better half lost a parent during this prison term , complicating their feelings even further . Our communication and ability to plump for each other have fractured .
Infertility brokenheartedness is a tangible thing that is brush off , heavily misunderstood , and lasts a life-time . You do n’t have a funeral for a pipe dream . It ’s mortifying and shameful , so it ’s keep in the nighttime . Often , I wish we never try .
I am work toward a better future where my emotions do not rule me , and I desire to have a loving relationship with myself . I reckon myself Childless Not By Choice ( CNBC ) and have found comfort in that community . Also , favourite are everything .
If you desire to be sensitive to this , understand that small fry can be a unmanageable topic for some of us and not consider casual conversation . One reply I give when ask about being childfree is : that some of us do n’t require kids , some of us fall back them , and some of us ca n’t have them . Guess which one I am . ' "
— Anonymous
7.“I got pregnant right away at 33, only to have a miscarriage at eight weeks. After another year of trying with no luck, my OB/GYN sent me to a fertility clinic. After what felt like a million tests, our diagnosis came back as ‘unexplained infertility,’ the shrug emoji of diagnoses. We spent a summer trying IUI before turning to IVF. My egg retrieval resulted in 15 healthy eggs, of which nine were fertilized.”
8.“Starting at 31, my husband and I tried to get pregnant for two years. We went to a fertility clinic, did one cycle of IUI, and I got pregnant with my daughter! Two years later, we tried once (without assistance from a fertility doctor), and I got pregnant with my son. You truly never know what will happen!”
— Jackie , 35
10.“I was a gestational carrier for another couple twice. There are a lot of requirements, including having my own children, being financially stable, clearing medical and psychological screenings, etc. The couple had already done IVF to create and freeze embryos. Once my screening tests were completed and a lengthy contract was drafted and notarized, I underwent the frozen embryo transfer cycle. I didn’t have to do an egg retrieval process or anything, but I did still have to do progesterone shots IM every night until about 10 weeks of pregnancy.”
" My married man and I have become unaired friends with the couple we carried for and our kids even call their kids " incentive first cousin " ! I ’m thankful to have been trusted with this unbelievable responsibility , and I apprise that my own nestling see that family are grow and created in many dissimilar way . To the people dealing with infertility : you are awe-inspiring , live , powerful , and enough . Your pathway to parentage might not look the way you opine or hoped , but it ’s valid and you ’ll get there one way or another if that ’s what you choose . "
11.“I waited until 30 to finally settle down and get married. We started trying for a baby immediately; my husband and I can’t see a future without children. We stopped using protection after I had a cervical cancer scare and had my IUD removed, even before we were married. In my follow-up pap to retest for cancer, my doctor asked if I had planned on having kids. That was never a question for me, the answer, even in my younger, wild years, was yes. ‘Well, if you have not been using protection and you have not gotten pregnant yet, you are at the age where you need to start thinking about your options.’ So I went to numerous appointments - I had ultrasounds on internal parts of me that I didn’t even know existed, had the oh-so-wonderful test where they shoot your fallopian tubes full of dye to make sure they are open, my husband had to do his business in a cup, etc.”
" We were then bear on to a top - of - the - melodic line rankness specialist , which come with more doctor appointment , more ultrasound , SO MUCH BLOOD WORK , and as it turn out , I had a uterine septum ( a innate abnormality which affects an exceedingly little percentage of women , yay me ) and was told there was next to no way for me to get pregnant and if I did , I would belike miscarry . I then had a operation to correct this .
After that came a few rounds of giving birth restraint to mold my bicycle , and we tried by nature for a few months . After no hazard , we did six rounds of Clomid , and let me tell you , Clomid is the devil . It make you so hormonal ; I cry about literally everything . I shout out once because I had to buy dog food for thought . I cried because I ordered food and no longer wanted it when it was delivered . I have friend who have gone through IVF , and they have say that Clomid is worse than doing a full cps of IVF . I honestly do n’t screw how my married couple exist this because even I did not enjoy the someone I was . Along with Clomid , we did four rounds of IUI . I hollo for a yr nonstop , gained 30 pound , and was scummy .
After about two years of this , maxing out the amount of Clomid that one person can take in a lifespan , thousand of dollars , we make up one’s mind to take a break . About a month ago ( now 33 ) , I went to get my yearly checkup and blood work done , and it turns out my body is producing next to no folic acid , which is not ideal for endeavor to have a baby . So , the journeying begins again . in effect lot to everyone out there examine . Miracles happen every daylight . Hopefully , one is in my future tense , too .
— Kelsey , 33
12.“I’ve known I have endometriosis since I was a teenager but had no issue getting pregnant with my son. We got pregnant the first month we tried, which was an uncomplicated pregnancy. But when we tried for number two, I had two miscarriages and then an ectopic pregnancy. This was all over the course of eight months. It was so heartbreaking, frustrating, and devastating.”
" We immediately started IVF . The process itself is relatively short but it ’s very vivid and nerve-wracking . Your body and mind go through so much and you do n’t even know if it will wreak . I ’m so thankful we were able to get a lot of fertilized egg and the vast majority of them were chromosomally normal . Our first embryo transport form and I ’m almost 8 months pregnant with a babe girl . My heart soften for char and couples who do n’t have the success we did . This pregnancy has been so intemperately emotionally ; I am constantly terrorise that I will fall behind this child . Those losses really stick to with you forever . But I ’ve never been so grateful for anything in my life ! I experience honored to get to carry her . "
— Emily , 36
13.“Like many young women, I felt that I had all the time in the world to start a family. I was not interested in having children in my 20s because I wanted to focus on grad school and my career. I got married at 28 and we decided to wait. Fast forward to 37 and I have had 3 surgeries to remove endometriosis, my fallopian tubes removed, and spent an insane amount of money to freeze my eggs for IVF. We did have one successful IVF pregnancy that resulted in an 18-month-old. I’ve been trying to have another baby for the past 6 months and each attempt has failed. IVF is the most physically and emotionally draining thing I’ve ever done. I have an amazing spouse, but fertility treatments can be hard on a relationship.”
14.“It’s a long story with a happy ending. Not everyone gets a happy ending in the fertility world, so I feel very lucky. We started trying shortly after we were married when I was 29. I saw a fertility doctor just before my 30th birthday. It turned out I had reduced ovarian reserve. My first IVF was converted to IUI. My next three IVF retrievals resulted in four embryos and three fresh transfers with negatives. During a break, I got pregnant naturally but found out at the seven-week ultrasound there was no heartbeat. We then pursued anonymous frozen egg donation through Donor Egg Bank USA. They were great, but it still took three donor lots and four transfers to have our daughter. I was nearly 38 when she was born.”
" I felt so much survivor guilt through pregnancy and postpartum like I could never complain because I had been so lucky , even though there were facial expression of that time that had been hard , particularly during Covid . My girl is almost three now , and I ’m so happy as our home of three . I ’m so happy to be past the rankness stage of my life . Those seven days of pregnancy were so long . I was envious of others and so distressing . Therapy , Zoloft , fertility rate Instagram , and gratitude journaling help me . Looking back , I wish I had enjoyed the fourth dimension more — been happy for others , traveled more ( even though we spent six figures to get pregnant and did n’t have a lot of plain savings ) , and appreciated things like free time . But it ’s easy to say that now in hindsight . Good luck to those of you starting this outgrowth , and hang in there to those in the middle . It ’s a battle of Marathon , not a dash . "
— A , 40
15.“I’m sharing because I think fertility and pregnancy treatment look a lot of different ways. I didn’t need help getting pregnant, but I did need help staying that way. I’d had a miscarriage, and my doctor said my progesterone level was upsettingly low. She couldn’t tell if that was the symptom or cause of the miscarriage, but she told me to make an appointment if I got pregnant again. A couple of years later, I did, and she immediately put me on a supplement — a vaginal suppository I had to insert twice a day for the entire first trimester.”
" For those who have not had to do this , you get this waxy tampon - looking affair that you have to keep in the fridge , and you insert it far enough that it can meld and reach your uterine cervix . You have to rest down for 20 minute after . No matter how measured you are about washing your hand before , there ’s just a lot of clobber go on in the area , so I got a UTI and multiple sebaceous cysts on my labia . Even with the supplement , my pregnancy was really risky , and we had to do ultrasound every appointment to check that the fetus was hunky-dory . Once we got past the first trimester , thing suffer better . It was worth it — my baby is here . But just know that getting pregnant is only step one , and some mamma ask more assist getting to the finish line , so that ’s okay ! "
— Anonymous , 31
