" This is how you ’re move to respond the next prison term you bring a symptom or complaint to your OB supplier and you ’re just told , ' That ’s normal . ' "

I tend to use the term “gaslighting” lightly because it’s so overused, but that isoften not the case when it comes to reproductive healthcare. Too often are patients dismissed, and even gaslighted, about their symptoms, especially during pregnancy.

Asone creatorput itin a viral videothat’s now been viewed over 1.2 million times, “Being pregnant is going to your doctor and saying anything, and them going, ‘Yep, that’s normal.'” Many others agreed, with, uh, several concerning responses:

Fortunately,Noa Sterling, MD, FACOG, stepped in and stitched the video with a bit of advice. She laid out exactly what you should do when you have a concern that your OB-GYN or another doctor dismisses as normal.

stitchwith @katylynnsmithdesign How to communicate with your#obgyn#pregnant#pregnancystruggles#pregnancystressrelief#pregnancytips#advocatingforyourself#stressinpregnancy

She began, “This is how you’re going to respond the next time you bring a symptom or complaint to your OB provider and you’re just told, ‘That’s normal.'”

She added, “By the way, I’m not joking. This dismissal of people’s concerns and complaints 100% contributes to maternal mortality.”

“Anyway, let’s get back to what you’re going to do when you have a concern that’s dismissed as normal,” Sterling continued. “This is what you say: ‘I know that normal pregnancy symptoms can sometimes be an indication that something more serious is going on. What about my situation tells you this is not something serious and not something that I need to be concerned about?'”

“Second, you’re going to ask what you should be looking for that might indicate this is a more serious symptom.”

“Now, the third thing is optional. If you would like your provider to do something about this symptom, you can say, ‘I am glad that you think this isn’t something serious, however, I would like to do something about this symptom. What do you suggest?'”

Others shared their own experiences successfully getting doctors to take them more seriously — some of which of course included getting a man involved (🙃).

Andmanywere thankful to hear Sterling’s advice.

Sterling told BuzzFeed that when you speak up and tell your provider you aren’t feeling heard, that should result in a change. She said that if it doesn’t, it might be a red flag. “If you’ve expressed that you are feeling dismissed and they continue in the same manner, it might be time to find a provider who is a better fit for you,” she said.

In the case of pregnancy, Sterling stated that practically every “normal” symptom could imply that something more serious is occurring, which is why many symptoms are dismissed as normal without further investigation. She emphasized how crucial it is for your provider to follow up with questions and concerns about your symptoms.

If you’re struggling to make the most out of your often hasty and quickly cut-short visits with your provider, Sterling suggested making a list of your concerns and questions and bringing it with you to your appointment.

And if you’re pregnant or thinking about becoming pregnant, Sterling stressed the importance of having apreconception evaluationwith a prospective OB, which is an appointment where you’ll review your health and any risk factors that might impact your chances of conceiving or affect your own health or the health of your baby. You’ll also be able to determine if the OB-GYN is the right fit and makes you feel safe and cared for.

Still, Sterling warned patients that unless they pay cash, even the top OB practices frequently have limited time for prenatal and postpartum appointments. She thinks this is also why symptoms, particularly during or after pregnancy, are frequently overlooked or ignored.

Sterling believes that these factors — the dismissal of symptoms, the limited time doctors have with patients, and the cost of care — are all major contributors to thematernal mortalitycrisis.

Dr. Monique Rainford, an OB-GYN,told Yale Medicinethat overt and implicit bias affects the care that Black pregnant people receive, as evidenced bymany storieswhere doctors ignored their symptoms and requests for help.

“ unquestioning prejudice , in which a person is n’t aware of their diagonal , is especially problematic , " Rainford recite Yale Medicine . " For illustration , a caregiver may remember they are doing the right affair for their pregnant patient role , but their implicit preconception against the womanhood ’s race affects the care they deliver . ”

Accordingto the CDC, more than 80% of pregnancy-related deaths in the US are preventable, highlighting the need for improvement in the quality of prenatal, pregnancy, and postpartum care. And more than half (53%) of pregnancy-related deaths occur up to one year after delivery, emphasizing the particular weaknesses in postpartum care. “Once the baby is here, it’s almost like the mother is discarded,” Karen Sheffield-Abdullah, a nurse-midwife,told NPR.

This means that healthcare providers need to stay connected to pregnant patients throughout the entirety of the the pregnancy, and ensure that patients are quickly referred to follow-up care following delivery, according to the CDC. The CDC also recommends that patients be screened for postpartum depression and anxiety starting at the first prenatal visit and continuing throughout the year after birth.

Another major observation from the CDC ’s data , which was collected between 2017 and 2019 , was the need for extended free postpartum health coverage through Medicaid .

Until December 2021 , destitute gestation - link up Medicaid reportage typically expired two months postpartum , forcing postpartum people out of care . However , thanks to a provision in theAmerican Rescue Plan Actof 2021 that purport to ameliorate maternal wellness - reportage stability and direct   racial disparities ,   states were given the choice to extend Medicaid postpartum coverage to 12 months . As of today,46 states have implementedthe 12 - calendar month Medicaid extension .

Frustrated in her own efforts to address all of her patients’ worries and concerns in one appointment, Sterling left her clinical practice to foundSterling Parents, an online platform where pregnant people can ask general questions about pregnancy and postpartum from a doctor outside of or prior to their appointments.

And while it’s true that doctors sometimes make missteps and dismiss patient concerns, Sterling reminded us that many doctorsdocare butare working within a broken system. She said, “I always tell the members of Sterling Parents that, for the most part, doctors are caring people who want to help but are stuck in a very broken system that prevents them from practicing medicine the way they want.”

So let’s review: If you’re a pregnant person, or simply just someone going into a healthcare appointment, and you’re in a situation where you feel your symptoms are not being heard, here’s what you say:

Doctor : Your [ insert symptom ] is normal .

You :

1 ) " I love that this symptom can sometimes be an indication that something more serious is start on . What about my situation tells you this is not something serious and not something that I postulate to be touch about ? "

2 ) " What should I be looking for that might indicate this is a more serious symptom ? "

3 ) Optional : " I am beaming that you cerebrate this is n’t something serious , however , I would like to do something about this symptom . What do you suggest ? "

I don’t know about you, but as someone who’s struggled to get answers about my own reproductive health, I’ll definitely keep this in my back pocket for my next OB-GYN appointment. One last hat off to Sterling, whom you can keep up withon TikTokand atSterling Parents.