aspect , meet palm tree .
Have you ever had one of those “brain fart” moments? You know, where you say a sentence, and as soon as you hear it leave your mouth, you’re like, “That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever said,” despite the fact that you’re generally a pretty smart person?
Well, onr/AskReddit, Redditoru/Objective5550asked, “What’s the stupidest thing you ever said that genuinely made you question your intelligence?” And let me tell you, the answers had me laughing so hard I wheezed. Here are some of the best ones:
1."‘Not too much ice please, don’t wanna water it down.’ (It was literally just a cup of ice water.)"
— u / kitteh619
" This is buy the farm into my bank of pappa laugh . Look out , wait stave , here I come ! "
— uranium / JADW27
2.“One time I said I wish I could swim in the air, and my friend said, ‘You mean flying?'”
— uracil / Not_AMermaid
3.“I said it would be nice if we had a ‘mirror app’!”
— uracil / BeKindImNewButtercup
" There are mirror apps actually ! I used my front - facing camera but the app closes if you go away it on too long .
The mirror apps do n’t close and you’re able to zoom in . It ’s deucedly helpful for applying eye constitution . "
— uranium / SpeakerKitchen236
4.“I don’t know if this counts, because praise the Lord I did not say it aloud. The scene: Me — a college senior still living in a dorm — doing my weekly snacks and root beer run at the local Wal-Mart. The thought: ‘Man, how do people with a whole family grocery shop? Like what do you do if you buy more than you can fit in your arms?’ Carts. That’s what carts are for.”
— u / ArtemisGirl242020
5.“My manager’s manager asked me to ballpark the percentage of time I was spending on each of my three projects. I confidently told him: 75% on project A, 25% on project B, and 25% on project C. I heard my cubicle neighbor laughing (didn’t immediately click that she was laughing at me). Manager’s manager paused a moment, then in a very kind and patient voice: ‘So, I’d like those numbers to add up to 100%. Can you try again?’ Then it dawned on me.”
— atomic number 92 / AreHipposBitey
" He should be yarn-dye you ’re giving 125 % . "
— u / kingeryck
6."‘You hit me in the cervix!’ I am a man. I meant sternum. Still have to shake that memory out of my head sometimes."
— u / HereticPrime97
7.“I was on a long train trip, gazing out the window, when I said to my friend: ‘I feel like every railroad crossing gate we’ve passed since I’ve been looking has been down…what are the odds?'”
" I have a Ph.D. ( not in trains ) . "
— atomic number 92 / Orioliolios
8."‘Oh look, it’s a full sun out today.'"
— uranium / imadeacrumble
" I might start suppose this now tbh . "
— atomic number 92 / shkamc16
9.“Got introduced to identical twins. First thing I said was, ‘Wow, how can you guys tell each other apart?'”
— u / MisterFives
" A friend once described herself and another friend as such : ' We ’re like similitude in disjoined bodies ! ' "
— u / Mesmerotic31
10.“I asked what half of 200 was. When I was given looks of ‘you’re joking right?’ I quickly realized what an idiot I really was.”
— uranium / gdpinleoeee
11.“I made a dentist appointment yesterday. They gave me a date and asked if 10:50 was a good time. I replied with, ‘I’m assuming that is 10:50 a.m…'”
— uranium / DustOfTheSaw
12.“In a physics class back in highschool: ‘I am gonna need a longer yardstick.'”
— atomic number 92 / soapsmith3125
13.“What is the name of the dog fromScooby-Doo?”
— atomic number 92 / No_Word_494
14.“When I was first dating my husband he took me to a football match and said it’s played in quarters. I asked him so how many quarters are there? 🤦🏼♀️ Twenty-eight years later, I still haven’t lived it down.”
— u / Content_Pumpkin_1797
15.“Me, crossing the border from Mexico to CA. Border Patrol guy: ‘What is your country of origin?’ Me, thinking:That’s easy!Me to border guard: ‘California.’ Guy gave me a look for a moment, and then just said, ‘Go.'”
— u / Quick - Temporary5620
16.“Playing table tennis with my partner and having the absolutely phenomenal brainwave of, ‘Hey wouldn’t it be cool if this was like a game that was way bigger with a big net and you have to like run around to get the ball and oh wait that’s just tennis.'”
" The same calendar week I was holding my girl up in front of a crushed fish tank , so I was scrunch up down and thought , ' It would be so helpful if someone could wish put something stout to push under you while you squat to make it more well-to-do oh wait that ’s literally a president . ' "
— uracil / Lady_Ange
17."‘You’re born in December? That sucks you have to wait a whole year for your birthday.'"
— u / SuperSawyer07
18.“I called my husband in a panic because I couldn’t find my phone. I actually asked him if he knew where my phone was. His answer: ‘Ah..in your hand?’ So yeah.”
— u / InvisblGarbageTruk
" Who among us has n’t done this one though ? I ’ve used my telephone ’s torch to look for my earpiece . "
— u / eugenesnewdream
19.“I saw some highland cows for the first time and said, ‘look at those fancy sheep.'”
— u / artLoveLifeDivine
20.“I’m working at the copy/shipping store. Woman approaches with a massive sealed cardboard box. Me: ‘Hi, so, are we faxing that tonight?’ Thankfully she thought I was just making a joke but no, it was purely sleep deprivation 😭.”
— u / Oenonaut
21.“I used to study Japanese, I asked the teacher how to say ‘sushi’ in Japanese, IN JAPANESE. ‘Sushi wa nihongo de nan to iimasu ka?'”
— u / pm_me_w_nudes
22.“When my son took his first steps I was so excited and exclaimed to my husband, ‘Look! He’s walking on his back legs!'”
— u / go_eat_worms
And finally, this one that I’ve done myself (and I bet you have, too):
23.“Me: ‘Hi how are you?’ Them: ‘Good how are you?’ Me: ‘Good, how are you?'”
— u / crazymom7170
