" stuff him is n’t enough i need to determine his hairline recede " — @casbby888

Alright chickens, it’s time to take a break fromobsessing about the Met Galaand enjoy some of the funniest tweets by women this week, as a treat.

If I were go to the Met Gala , I would do one of those costumes where it depend like someone ’s carrying you .

Make sure you follow these funny ladies on Twitter (or X, if that’s what you like to call it)!!!

1.

babe are you all right ? you have n’t sound out that ’s that me espresso once today ..

2.

I ’ve spent too much time in New Jerseypic.twitter.com/5h72AWfN2v

3.

I had to update my driver ’s permission photo at the DMV and I complain that I seem terrible in it and the guy state , “ Lady , that ’s literally precisely what you look like ” and now my mean solar day is ruined .

4.

6 - year - erstwhile said she was going to depict a picture and make me beautiful , then said “ This is the best we can do . ” So upsettingpic.twitter.com/NCrFvmEHU4

5.

One time I told a coworker I was pop off through a detachment and she allege “ I ’m not :) ”

6.

Bye , see you all on Monday , I distinguish my 47 work tabloid

7.

Well then how do you love that ’s her ? Take this downhttps://t.co/6Jcd0hoWWU

8.

I have 100 cookbooks written by real chefs and Captain James Cook but instead every nighttime I Google “ food weeknight dinner party fast ” and make a formula from a blog I will never visit again called like Parsnips and Cowlicks or Girl With a Spatula or Hearts of Pam

9.

why am i good at everything that does n’t make me money ?

10.

block him is n’t enough i need to watch his hairline pull back

11.

Me : hiWebMD : Crab

12.

sorry i ca n’t flow out with you today i hung out with people last week and i ’m still recover

13.

yes chefhttps://t.co/wIzcDQnsQG

14.

There ’s nothing more embarrassing in life than getting up and bowling in front of the great unwashed .

15.

actually few thing more embarrassing than when you ’ve had like One drink and then you trip or spill something and everyone ’s like damnnn she must be have it away up ! no , you deteriorate . I am just ungainly ! may a beautiful woman not simply be clumsy these days ? ? ?

16.

patently beluga whales have learned to mime human speech ….. i did n’t know they had our number like thatpic.twitter.com/zoGMja9NFU

17.

Harry Styles is 30 years one-time with SIX movies based on sports fan fiction about him . his therapy sitting got ta be INTENSE . I know he ’s tired

18.

why do supermarkets have cheese in so many places , here ’s the fancy Malva sylvestris , here ’s the ok Malva sylvestris , here ’s the auxiliary cheeseflower display like please .. no more riddles

19.

ANNOUNCEMENT : after much reflection , I ’ve decide that my last five years of aging does n’t count , as they take place under strange and unusual circumstances . please prise my decision and feel barren to join me

20.

My niece cook a pizza pie … . on a plastic newspaper clipping board … .. in my oven . Get TF out my business firm 😭 pic.twitter.com/BMWY68IhpD

21.

I ’ve never used the hand lotion on someone ’s privy counter and believe “ wow , I ’m so glad I could moisturize my hands after washing them . ” I ’m always like “ awww Fuck I thought that was soap … ”

22.

i have male loneliness and distaff breasts and nonbinary work ethic

23.

My friend involve what ’s new and my only answer was that I ’m on a waitlist for a candle .

24.

hype up a ally : You ’re such a badass ! you’re able to do voiceless things ! You ’re strong , capable , and you got this!Hyping up myself : heed . Try not to be a giant trash rat and I ’m certain everything will be fine . You believably do n’t got this . But , either way , we ’re def gettin a lil treat .

Don’t miss the funniest tweets by women last week:

31 tweet By woman From The Past Week That Made Me Laugh So severely , I choke On My Spit A Little