" i hate seeing pretty young lady lose slumber over someone who seem like he negociate his way onto ground " — @sehxr

Summer is on the horizon, and depending on where you live, it’s almost time to hear that apocalyptic cicada hum:

cicadas have taken over Nashville and my coworker told me about his 4yo daughter who , on her way of life in to the YMCA , picked a lot up in her hand , walk in , twirled up to the front desk , and said to the attendants “ hello lady . do any of you want to see some cicada ? ” I ’m yammer

So let’s celebrate our impending doom with the funniest tweets from women this week. Make sure you follow these funny ladies on X (formerly known as Twitter)!

1.

The conception for A Quiet Place is really wild when you think about it . Like how do you invade a planet and get mad it ’s noisy when you get there ? ! ?

2.

My wife and I were walking down the pavement wearing gear from our best-loved sport teams , pushing three computed axial tomography in strollers , on the fashion to the veterinary ( annual hinderance - ups ) , and I could feel a level of lesbianism radiating off of us that was so powerful work force were crossing the street .

3.

When we begin location share-out , it was about me knowing where the shaver were . I did not regard the complication of them also know where I am at all times.pic.twitter.com/DRuH7g43Zm

4.

Took my ADHD MEd and drank a big iced java to seek to knock out the institution and methods department of this manuscript and instead just come out of a 90 mo adderall hyperfocus spell where I was in Canva produce a UFO - themed miscarriage stickerpic.twitter.com/y0bLh0bjkD

5.

my mother has a aesculapian podcast where she self diagnoses her ailments it ’s called my voicemail and it happens every dawn at 9 am .

6.

It ’s so risible to me the president of France ’s last name is Macron it ’s like if we had a President named President Choclate Chip Cookie

7.

i start my sidereal day like everyone else ( devour 7 variety of media )

8.

do we opine travis ’ pre Super Bowl speech let in telling the team that taylor has already written a song about them getting the trophy & being on a winning streak so if they do n’t win it ’ll be embarrassing

9.

You make love when you ’re driving and you have to stop over to lease a funeral rise pass and you imagine “ ugh this is inconvenient for me ” and then you expend the next hr trying to convert yourself you did n’t think that

10.

when my bf opened his gifts from me his mom saw the shorts and was like “ oh my those are forgetful ! ! ” patty cut me some quag they ’re 7 ” inseams you have no idea how they are whoring up the boys these days i ’m protecting your son ! ! !

11.

It ’s wild because the miss I used to babysit in 2016 was obsesseddddd w Sabrina Carpenter but at the fourth dimension I did n’t really see the vision . believe women .. .

12.

Dress codes should just be broken down into " Jeans Okay " or " Jeans Not Okay . " This is all the information I need .

13.

I really call for the weather to put to being warm like … I have sundress to wear , strawberries to eat , etc

14.

depression & mango szn can not coexist pull yourself up bitches have some respect

15.

Would you rather get a 4yo quick for school or overwhelm yourself in a elephantine ad valorem tax of boil hot maple syrup

16.

i ’ll say shit like " sorry haha i was going through it back then " as if there has ever been a single full stop in my intact animation where i was not live on through it

17.

when my bf and i watch movies that have a buss scene , i yell " 4D ! ! ! " ( 4 dimensional picture house ) and I kiss his face

18.

talking to him is n’t enough i need to live inside his white stemma prison cell and protect him

19.

If by “ meal planning ” you mean grill cheese for dinner party every daytime , then yes , I do repast architectural plan .

20.

Me as a heterosexual woman scream - singing Chappell Roan and Renee Rapp in my room all day.pic.twitter.com/7QMKAGKI4a

21.

i detest ascertain pretty girls suffer sleep over someone who look like he negotiated his way onto earth

Don’t miss the funniest tweets by women last week:

I ’m Still Giggling And recoil My Feet At The 24 Funniest Tweets By Women This workweek