" care span so little it takes me 7 days to fetch up a 2 hour motion picture . “—@RiotGrlErin

This week, we were all a couple ofTortured Poetschuggingespresso, and Kylie Jenner DEFINITELYisn’t pregnantwith a Chalamet (allegedly).

Kris Jenner after letting multiple day rumour of a Kylie Jenner and Timothée Chalamet pregnancy circle only to have the on-line commentary be only about ClubChalametpic.twitter.com/LAvzvbKCQa

Make sure you follow all these funny ladies on X (aka Twitter)!

1.

3 pm ? sorry that ’s my time to be the most tired I ’ve ever been in my sprightliness everyday

2.

business tip . INSTEAD OF SAYING“i study from home ” : weak , lazy , does not sound productiveSAY“i much alive at the office ” : a actual go - getter , dedicated to the swot , a worker bee

3.

You would n’t last an minute in the coconut tree I fly out of

4.

In Spain rn and everywhere I release are beautiful aphrodisiacal man off to work … wish we had this in the US but unhappily all we have are DJs :(

5.

The New York Times has officially out - New York Timesed itself.pic.twitter.com/fTvOVIMKpy

6.

Do n’t invite me places . I was caesarean . I did n’t want to hail out then and I certainly do n’t desire to now

7.

Can I call in trouser too tight and go home if I am already at body of work

8.

heed to I can do it with a broken heart while driving really feels like what I imagine driving off rainbow road in mariokart would feel like in existent animation

9.

some of you were n’t there**the year 2012 when the promo dawdler for daughter time of year 2 featuring the call Anything Could Happen by Ellie Goulding dropped

10.

me when i ’m time in at workpic.twitter.com/2VNDHSV9oC

11.

" fatherless behavior " really i have a dad , i m just a severe woman

12.

attention brace so short it take me 7 days to finish a 2 hour movie .

13.

13 year old young woman came in to my barista job and postulate “ can i get one espresso ? wait in reality what ’s in an espresso ? ” so thank u sabrina carpenter

14.

Say sike right wing nowpic.twitter.com/zyJHpuSEYG

15.

I ’m not sure how “ tortured ” Taylor Swift can really be when her football squad won the Super Bowl in her first time of year .

16.

Whatever the fuck I wanthttps://t.co/BYzhl2QVhX

17.

and you deserve prison house but you wo nt get timepic.twitter.com/AtyxLUDCmi

18.

hear me out a hate triangle

19.

kris Edward Jenner after hearing tiktok say kylie ’s makeup make is going under : pic.twitter.com/4gbvowuorq

20.

Kylie Jenner must be fertile af if she got meaning by Timothee Chalamet because there is no way that he has secure swimmer , he depend anemic , dehydrate , and we ALL love he has been devastate by one of the most fertile case of Chlamydia in modern story

21.

1 debriefing session with the girls can make u hate the guy rope you just started care

22.

hey sorry i ca n’t right now i m too fussy take in my own instagram level

23.

the womanly impulse to say “ ok bye ” and then expect 98 msgs , 86 calls,37 emails

24.

we been hearing " boys will be son " since we start walk on this earth . You ’ll be alright . lactate it up bubbahttps://t.co/76lhomxUwD

25.

Bruh being sound actually accept up a lot of time and Department of Energy . like i do n’t even have metre to be lower because i got ta meal prep and work out and shower and pen up my dress and moisturize my face and deep shape my hair and call my eff ones and read my Holy Writ .

26.

once i say “ interesting ” just sleep with u slipped up

27.

  • bury the word for two-handed * my bridge player are epicene

28.

me : I ’m not oldalso me : * realizes the bit of meteorologists I follow on facebook is not zero *

29.

Sorry I was belated I was refill my purse Ibuprofen with my john Ibuprofen .

30.

They say if you feel overwhelmed , it ’s important to demand for help.*Husband straightaway loses the inclination of thing I asked for help with *

31.

only hot women get by with being tight but only the HOTTEST women get forth with being weird

32.

SLUTS(sexy ladies under tremendous focus )

33.

they should contrive a gentleman who ’s a dependable person

Don’t miss the funniest tweets by women last week:

30 Hilarious Tweets By charwoman That Will Have Every Male Comedian Quaking In His fiddling iron heel