" The Inner Light at the end of the tunnel was ' Breaking Bad . ' "
Content Warning: Discussion of suicidal ideation.
Giancarlo Espositorevealed he was so broke before landingBreaking Badthat he considered arranging his murder so his life insurance money would financially protect his kids.
Today, you might know him as one of the most familiar faces on television, but his acting career started long before his iconic TV villain roles.
Giancarlo’s been acting for 45 years and has starred in classics from the late ’80s and early ’90s, such as Spike Lee’sSchool Daze,Do the Right Thing, Mo' Better Blues,andMalcolm X. Yet, it wasn’t these movie roles that skyrocketed him to the consistent career we see today on every other network.
Everybody knows Giancarlo from his role as Gus Fring in AMC’sBreaking Badand its prequel seriesBetter Call Saul.
But while promoting his new AMC drama seriesParish,Giancarlo revealed that he once considered the worst because of financial trouble right before his breakout role inBreaking Bad.
On an episode of SiriusXM’sJim & Sam,Giancarlo explained the drastic scenarios he considered to get out of near bankruptcy around 2008. “My way out in my brain was: ‘Hey, do you get life insurance if someone commits suicide? Do they get the bread?'” he said.
He was married to Joy McManigal, and they have four daughters together. After they divorced in 2005, he filed for bankruptcy, and this is when he “thought of self-annihilation.”
“My wife had no idea why I was asking this stuff. I started scheming. If I got somebody to knock me off, death by misadventure, [my children] would get the insurance.”
“I had four kids. I wanted them to have a life. It was a hard moment in time. I literally thought of self-annihilation so they could survive. That’s how low I was,” he added.
While Giancarlo admitted to pondering these options, he realized they were not viable if he wasn’t physically around for his children. “That was the first inkling that there was a way out, but I wouldn’t be here to be available to my kids,” he said.
“Then I started to think that’s not viable because the pain I would cause them would be lifelong, and there’d be lifelong trauma that would just extend the generational trauma I’m trying to move away from. The light at the end of the tunnel wasBreaking Bad.”
Twenty-six episodes ofBreaking Badand 38 episodes ofBetter Call Saulfeatured Giancarlo as Gus Fring. The original series received 92 awards, including Emmys, Golden Globes, SAG Awards, and Critics’ Choice.
Watch Giancarlo’s fullinterviewonJim & Sam.
Parishis streaming onAMC+.
The Gentlemenis streaming onNetflix.
TheNational Suicide Prevention Lifelineis 1-800-273-8255. Other international suicide helplines can be found atbefrienders.org.The Trevor Project,which provides help and suicide-prevention resources for LGBTQ youth, is 1-866-488-7386.
