" One of my champion had an consultation with Apple and she hold out a blackened turtleneck and glasses and told the interviewer , ' Do I look conversant ? ' "
Another month has quickly come and gone, so you probably missed out on some outrageously hilarious things that were posted online. But no worries! As expected, I gathered the funniest tweets from this month for you to see for yourself:
And follow the accounts that made you laugh so your Twitter timeline will be even better !
1.
take hold of dinner w ur supporter is like omg these Roger Fry r epic . also I cried myself to kip last night . Can u pass the ketchup . You wo n’t believe who ’s cringe back into my dm . Are are you down to adjudicate this new spot tom ? I detest him . The weather was so nice today
2.
mass that eat yoghurt take to loosen . cease scraping the bottom 27 fourth dimension . Its blueberry bush yogurt not crack .
3.
i can not conceive my head-on lobe is amply developed . like this is it for the rest of my life lol i ’m so fucked .
4.
Got fired from the Bluey writers room cause I save pitching the dad having an social occasion
5.
work theory that man have an easier time open up jars mostly because they do n’t moisturise decently
6.
he prefers side chick bc his mother was one
7.
Lmao why would the Amazon driver throw my package at my door . The delivery picture show the package still in the air 😂 😂 😂
8.
thid is a crazy barbershop name.pic.twitter.com/VoROf73S2 M
9.
I was fighting for my lifepic.twitter.com/SToqSBAXdQ
10.
i live in ceaseless awe of being ask to share a “ fun fact about me ”
11.
“ This year I really require to : Travel more”“Let ’s debate this topic : Pineapple on pizza”“I’m weirdly attracted to : Men”“Biggest risk I ’ve take : _ _ _ _ _ during the eye of a pandemic”“The good fashion to ask me out is by : ask me out”pic.twitter.com/id5zZfbjHp
12.
Beyoncé : Drops new albumTaylor : Drops new albumGaga : Drops young movie trailerAri : Drops new album AND raw picture trailerRihanna : pic.twitter.com / DwtLfaWvke
13.
My issue with Jeopardy is that you never get the sense that the contestants are in any real danger
14.
“ I was just resting my eyes”- a valet de chambre that was in the deepest nap
15.
Thisssssss 😭 😭 😭 pic.twitter.com / Qm111dIIdZ
16.
the twenty-four hour period are getting longer , but they are n’t getting warmerpic.twitter.com/p9rtdjKJQI
17.
sometimes sitting next to someone in an amc with the recliners is a small too knowledgeable like why must we lie down next to each other as man rest with wife
18.
introduce my Quaker to a show and she part liking the wrong shippic.twitter.com/ZyIV0ae2eW
19.
be think i look mysterious af and my backpack be wide heart-to-heart
20.
This is how Life is Currently Going.pic.twitter.com/UMg3Ca4daI
21.
My teen is taking the SAT today . As we were walking out the door , I ask her if she needed a especial pencil . She looked at me and say We take it on computers . The air hang up quiet between us . Oh I say . Huh I said . It ’s the first yr she add If it relieve oneself you feel any better .
22.
This is exactly what it feels like to message someone on hinge firstpic.twitter.com/LPZVlKUpYi
23.
she was a tortured poet ❤ ️pic.twitter.com/g3yiHS0Mnw
24.
me inflame up the hamster at the favorite storepic.twitter.com/uMB4K1jSY2
25.
crush : * record me pictures of her family * attend at my mom when she was 20 omg she slayedme : * trying to use homo slang so she ’ll log Z’s with me later * yeah she looks like a cunt
26.
danced and flirted with a SHIRTLESS man in a gay bar for like 30 mins last night only for him to say he ’s actually unbowed when i asked for his numberpic.twitter.com/bjPcEKWKdQ
27.
deplete your lunch in your machine at work is the adult variant of the high school bathroom stall .
28.
break putting songs on your ig billet PLEASE I am implore
29.
All solar day q1 and q2 this and that . Keep the corporate jargon at piece of work lol
30.
facebook is not a real placepic.twitter.com/aaylwDCuOR
31.
“ Situationships ” are n’t so bad . You often learn about a fresh brand or restaurant
32.
pic.twitter.com/YMXqRP1UHe
33.
break down on a date with an actor last thursday and he made me split bill … think that strike was overpic.twitter.com/8mZ9duxHuQ
34.
sex and the metropolis is so comforting cause these bitches were in there 30s being dumb ass hoes . so rattling .
35.
love when my bss air out his wrk frustrations to me and says “ i do n’t cognize why i ’m telling you this ” after he lets some inside intel slip like sorry king i have an aura about me that make masses wanna queen out , your natural defenses are slipping
36.
employee should get 25 - 30 hungover day off a yr and possibly even more if you really like getting drunk
37.
I be seat at a bar thinking I look like a spoiled bitch whole clip I ’m hunch forward my back
38.
find dinner party w protagonist is literally just like sex and the urban center
39.
Requested my natal day off and was deniedpic.twitter.com/UgGcaPyiDW
40.
no one : your unemployed admirer at 4 PM on a tuesday : pic.twitter.com / k3Xc8hcCfk
41.
being in your 20s is just constantly googling new degree and job in an effort to find something that would potentially spark a tiny turn of joyfulness
42.
the gays definitely had other priorities in 1945https://t.co/ES5zrGRbKA
43.
Well , allergic reaction pill , the significant thing is that you try .
44.
I ca n’t believe as a tiddler I ’d be asleep at 8 pm and wake up for like 6:30 ? If I go to slumber at 8 pm now I ’ll awaken up at midnight
45.
the great unwashed on chirrup : backshots in a sundress with no panty on season almost herepeople in real life : hey gentleman’s gentleman how ’s it rifle
46.
Baby they marry cleaning lady they do n’t likehttps://t.co/GuvbBN9VQDpic.twitter.com/6uwPtmEgug
47.
people who bring their laptops to coffeehouse are the biggest tending searcher ahhh look at me i ’m so officious get a grip
48.
pic.twitter.com/M6hN6eNFhG
49.
i wanna lose all my inhibitions at chili ’s with a bad bitch ( my good friend ) by my side
50.
I asked my husband if he ’s ever seen the movie girl break and he said yes I cogitate so , Cristina Aguilera is in that right hand ? and began to describe Cristina Aguilera in the moulin rouge music telecasting from 2001
51.
“ He does n’t bite”Oh girl get it on you . Get this beast aside from me
52.
Just farted so loud in the barbershop they talm tear cut him next for he shit
53.
the freakiest person u know probably wears specs
54.
My drunk booster : I love you . Me : i know babyy seat down & pledge some H2O please
55.
this next situationship is gon na be the one I can feel it
56.
Well my ex canceled the Spotify premium I was using which unfortunately mean I am revoking his Dads access to my Disney + . adept guy cable . Hate to see him trance in the crossfire .
57.
i was talking to my psychiatrist when the seism hit but i did n’t require her to put me on major tranquillizer so i just did n’t recognize it
58.
I ’m unemployed at heart , and no job will ever shift that .
