Expecto to crack up read these .
We’re in love withHarry Potterjokes and puns — it’s hard not to be! We grew up with the series, and the nostalgia factor just isn’t going anywhere. From its spinoff series,Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, to the wizard-themed candy and amusement park, there’s still a ton of interest in the books and movies. We know fans love ourHarry Potter Pickup Lines, so we figured we’d add our favorite jokes, too! Here’s a roundup of the bestHarry Potterjokes, sourced fromReddit. They’ll even give ~muggles~ a chuckle.
1.“What type of drink does Snape hate the most? Jameson.”
2.“Why can’t Harry tell the difference between a cooking pot and hisbest friend? Because they’re both cauldron.”
— u / Butterflylvr1
3.“So,Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. I guess that’s when the books started getting…dead Sirius.”
— u / Sasstiel
4.“How do the Malfoys enter a building? They Slytherin.”
— atomic number 92 / glowintoyou
5.“How do you know if a potion is good? You check its hex-piration date!”
— uracil / HereForTheJokes-13
6.“Why did Snape teach Potions and not Herbology? Because he can’t keep a lily alive.”
— uracil / katienic
7.“Why is Mad-Eye Moody such a bad teacher? Because he can’t control his pupils.”
— u / Ashleeeeh _
8.“One day Lupin decides to come clean with Harry. He sits him down and tells him, ‘Harry, I’m a werewolf.’ Harry jumps up and starts shouting, ‘WHAT!? ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS!?’ Lupin sighs, hangs his head, and mumbles, ‘Ah yes, that, too.'”
— uracil / LolaTrixie
9.“What fuel does Harry Potter put in his car? Expecto Petroleum!”
— @Grargemeister
10.“Why doesn’t Snape own a barbecue? Because he roasts his food verbally.”
11.“Voldemort’s parents took the ‘I got your nose’ game a bit too seriously.”
— atomic number 92 / mq999
12.“How does Harry Potter get rid of a rash? With quit-itch.”
— @TheHPfacts
13.“How do you get a mythical creature into your house? Through the Gryffindor!”
— u / Blade_Omega
14.“Why did Barty Crouch Jr. quit drinking? Because it was making him Moody.”
— u / Sylren
15.“What do you call an electrocuted Dark Lord? A Volt-demort.”
— @pinchingbumms7
16.“What do you call the entrance to a magical gym? A dumbbell door.”
— @CaptGGstache
17.“Why did Harry Potter get pulled over for speeding? Because he didn’t expect-no-patrol-man.”
— u / aWildPig
18.“What did Voldemort tell Wormtail when they went bowling? Kill the spare.”
— atomic number 92 / lawlesskenny
19.“Why did Snape stand in the middle of the road? So you’ll never know which side he’s on.”
— atomic number 92 / grey_sun
20.“Why did Hermione Granger carry a time-turner with her everywhere she went? Because she was always running late for her Ron-dezvous!”
21.“Where did Dumbledore keep his army? Up his sleevey.”
— u / LukeSA
22.“On a scale of one to ten, how obsessed with Harry Potter are you? About nine and three quarters.”
— u / anon.
23.“Harry Potter is sliding down a hill… J.K. Rowling.”
24.“What do you call a toilet with fur? A Harry Potter.”
— u / Mrjarbuckle
25.“What is born with eight legs, has four after the first year of its life, and then only two after 20 years? The Weasley twins.”
— atomic number 92 / TylerEffinGohde
26.“Why was Draco really loud in bed? So that his father would hear about it.”
27.“Why did Professor Snape stand in line at the bookstore? He heard they were having a sale on half-blood prints.”
28.“Why does Neville need three seats on a bus? He has a Longbottom.”
— u / NerdOfZoology
29.“What did Harry tell the Dementor? ‘You’re Riddikulus!'”
30.“Why shouldn’t one marry James Potter? He’s a Chaser, not a Keeper.”
— u / Gifted_GardenSnail
31.“Why does Voldemort prefer Twitter over Facebook? Because he has only followers, not friends.”
32.“Why should Malfoy be a part of every Quidditch team? He’d make an excellent snitch.”
— u / white - dumbledore
33.“Why doesn’t Firenze go to parties? He doesn’t want to be the centaur of attention.”
34.“I liked all the characters, but Sir Nicholas was poorly executed.”
— u / Fluid - Flounder8450
35.“On a scale from one to ten, I’d rate Harry Potter a 9 and 3/4.”
This clause hold content from Michele Bird , Casey Rackham , and Andy Golder .
