" You ’ll be fighting for your sprightliness financially then get invited to a birthday dinner . " — @Cairo_Mathebula
Hello and good morning/afternoon/evening from me, the person who makes these roundups:
my co - workers be giving their 100 % and i be on chirrup 😭 😭 😭
I hope you had a good week and didn’t waste too much time on X, formerly Twitter (like me). If you didn’t, congrats! I did all the “work” for you! Here are all the funniest tweets from last week:
1.
you guys . please take charge of ur genial wellness because the most vicious mass i know bailiwick psychological science i m so serious rn
2.
" I do n’t get why you set so many alarms"congrats on being able to rocket back to existence every forenoon but some of us have to be step by step bring up from the depth like the stiff of an ancient shipwreck being brought to the Earth’s surface
3.
Never again 💔 pic.twitter.com/7z3QrutjyQ
4.
This made my day . Lolpic.twitter.com/mdGS8Ni0cK
5.
I was taking a rideshare today and thought the gadget driver say something to me but he was like “ no no I was talk to Patricio ” and then plopped Patricio down on the dashboardpic.twitter.com/2MUvPYC9YZ
6.
My Logos just called Yale " Yalé " like he ’s Pitbull or something and now I ’m rooting hard for them .
7.
told bestie i influence a double today and they said “ what ’s a double ? ” aw do n’t worry about it kitten 💜 just some exercise class vocabulary that ’s all !
8.
You ’ll be fight for your life financially then get call for to a birthday dinner party .
9.
feels terrible trying to arrange something for your natal day does n’t it . snuffle . ' pretty please hang out with me for my personal special twenty-four hour period 🥺 i m 32 btw ' . atrocious . great when other masses take in me to the taphouse for their birthdays though .
10.
suddenly it ’s “ keep the variety ” and “ want me to buy it for u ? ” enfjsjfjdjf god plshttps://t.co/Ol17tTESo4
11.
There ’s always a white guy cable at the balefire who really fucks with keeping the fire work and I respect that
12.
i induce into a car accident when i was 19 and i call my dad and he allege " well i do n’t know what you should do cause i do n’t really get in those . that ’s just me "
13.
i have a guy in my decimeter that sporadically checks in to see if i m still in a relationshippic.twitter.com/uJ2mVDWVTD
14.
when he holds ur second joint while driving > > > pic.twitter.com/cJcuRkRoXh
15.
“ Where ’s the Pride flag?”“Fu*k get it on . Just put out the Twister mat.”pic.twitter.com/dWRM06c1bk
16.
One of my co-worker has one of those really chesty personalities but in a very endearing agency . I require him why he ’s smile and he just went “ what ’s there not to be happy about ? I ’m 28 , passing good looking , got abs , a ill problem , and a fit gf ” 😂 😂
17.
You think I would be applying for an APARTMENT if I made 4x the rip huh ? ? ? ? ? Huh you stupid bitch ? ? ? ?
18.
roomie … the coworkers of the home
19.
university are queer . Hey what if we take a medieval institution for training priests and aristocrats and combined it w a hedge fund , sports enfranchisement and fall back for teenagersOh and it ’ll be the backbone for fundamental enquiry for our entire civilization
20.
Why my small sister get her first job consultation and say the interviewer she do n’t like talking to people 😭 😭 😭 😭 😭
21.
A COONCHIE SHAWL I DONE SEEN IT AWLhttps://t.co/YAPZJCXpJu
22.
just understand every metre we go out to get nutrient and come back home to feed it we are track down and gathering………pic.twitter.com/N7lHAeJCIN
23.
does anyone have any good food recommendations for somebody just getting into groceries
24.
Dad just learned about red-hot Onespic.twitter.com/lWlTMjGf4n
25.
call this sunscreen an oscar nominate motion-picture show the agency it has a white cast
26.
me yelling uno with 25 posting up my asspic.twitter.com/qGDTRsFlLM
27.
All of us after joke about Kate Middletonpic.twitter.com/VXC9fDjmXA
28.
was swiping on tinder and some girl behind me said “ swipe he ’s cute”pic.twitter.com/9KdtogPyrk
29.
this TV is like cocomelon to me . it feels so solace on my tiny brainhttps://t.co/Mk6Z4rFtuF
That’s a wrap for this week’s roundup…
at the close of the day , the day got ta endpic.twitter.com/X9jMW5TCDz
…but if you’re looking for more funny tweets to waste your time on, feel free to scroll through our previous roundups below. And don’t forget to shoot these creators a follow! See ya next week 🫡 .
25 Funny Tweets From The Week Because Nothing Really Matters And We ’re All Just Floating On A self-aggrandising Ol' Rock
sprightliness Can Feel wasted , Difficult , And Dumb , But These 31 Tweets Are rummy , delicious , And Sure To Make You Chuckle
