" 5'8 dudes will say ' I ’ll get to the bottom of this ' as if they ’re not already there . " — @DeWittBFartin
Happy April Fools Day! If you don’t have any jokes today, don’t worry; there’s plenty from the last week on Twitter to keep you laughing all day (and yes, we’re still calling it Twitter):
still have n’t hear a individual person call twitter anything other than chirrup and it ’s been almost 2 years at this point
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i wager this feel good af for the calendarpic.twitter.com/SsnmStCzHy
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just found out my Book of Job does n’t recognize easter sunday as a holiday , therefore no vacation pay…pic.twitter.com/WfIqmCsWvE
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Jesus to Judas at the Last Supperpic.twitter.com/FjKGCQNw04
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Jesus was a carpenter which means for a split bit when they turn over him his cross he probably clock it and was like hmmm cedar
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pic.twitter.com/JVjSJZzOdu
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shakira ’s hip taking a lie detector test 😭 pic.twitter.com/BJipv0CPyd
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Lmaooo human race really should be cast out from delivering food for thought 😂 pic.twitter.com/JCT0PuE9s2
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sometimes i search at my food market lists and i m like girl bffrpic.twitter.com/op1gJbyzuQ
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I buy frozen broccoli like twice a workweek at my neighborhood market smirch and this prison term as I ’m watch out the cashier goes “ you know … we deal fresh Brassica oleracea italica too . ” gather me sister …
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Second attempt at making a protein judder tf I do wrong 🤔 😭 😭 pic.twitter.com/idT4KqiBJu
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thought daughterhttps://t.co/m5FwhPkAdV
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Friend making $ 20 / hour as a barista : “ No concern bro , I"ll cover this one and you ’ll get the next one!”Friend make $ 450k as a software engineer : “ Can you Venmo me $ 3.62 for your portion of the Uber drive ? ”
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not to glamourise the aesculapian practice of the early 1900s but medico really shine off when they stopped prescribing visits to the seaside
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one of my classmates said he ’s going into consulting because he likes giving masses his notion but he does n’t care doing anything lol
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5’8 buster will say “ I ’ll get to the bottom of this ” as if they ’re not already there
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The most sinister bathroom vibes I ’ve ever encountered . Why is there way for a springy audiencepic.twitter.com/FvfCFMjH0B
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brutalpic.twitter.com/4U2EhNi4TD
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whenever i ’m having a bad Clarence Day i ’m just like dang imagine if i had Thomas Kid too
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asked ChatGPT to react to my friend ’s ex ’s apology 😭 pic.twitter.com/hRavM9b4My
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Never be sad on a weekend . shout during business 60 minutes and get paid for your depression . Do n’t allow capitalist economy win .
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this full-strength couple bring a sister into a GAY BAR and got MAD when I jest “ these twinks look younger every twelvemonth ”
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the fuck was I onhttps://t.co/0P71jQorbk
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the piece of tail outhttps://t.co/7G7AX6qXIT
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Finalhttps://t.co/FuD0NJOent
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pose next to this lil miss on a plane and she ALL in my phone . I cognize she register this as I type YES lil girl creative thinker yo business
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me behind my handler after they order a customer the same matter I just told them 😜 pic.twitter.com/zD9hMNGR49
That’s a wrap for this week! Don’t forget to shoot these creators a follow. For more funny tweets, check out our most recent roundups:
29 Hilarious Tweets From The Week Because Humor make The World Go Round
25 Funny Tweets From The Week Because Nothing Really matter And We ’re All Just float On A Big Ol' Rock
