" Sometimes , I take on the what - if game and wonder what my life would have been like if I had n’t gone out on that first date . "
Warning : This post contains mention of maternity loss .
We recentlyaskedpeople of theBuzzFeed Communitywho married the first person they dated to tell us what happened after, and the stories range from heartwarming to heartbreaking. Here’s what they had to say:
1.“We met when we were just about to enter high school. We didn’t start dating until we were 19. We were our firsts — as in first dates, first everything. It’s been a long and sometimes bumpy road. We got married at 24. We’re now 68. We’ve been married for almost 44 years. It’s been tough, but I’d do it all again.”
— uranium / sbguiney
2.“Met him when I was 17, and he was 22. We married when I was 23, had our daughter when I was 26, and then broke up when I was 29. On the one hand, it’s incredibly wonderful seeing two people grow together, and we shared so many incredible life experiences. On the other hand, when it ends, you grieve for the life you had planned out.”
" I do n’t recollect I ’d encourage my girl to espouse her first partner . I ’d need her to research the world first . "
— haribohannah91
3.“I met my now-husband in grade 7. He asked me to prom on MSN Messenger (circa year 2000). We started dating just after grade 12 finished. Married in 2007. We have two kids later and have been together 24 years.”
— uracil / redpepper83
4.“I didn’t date in high school. When I got to college, several guys asked me out, but I didn’t like them that way, so I said no. Most of them couldn’t accept ‘no’ and ruined our friendship by constantly begging or playing games to change my mind. I met my husband through mutual friends when we were 21. He asked me out, and I initially told him no, too. I expected him to ruin the friendship like past guys, but he didn’t. He accepted the ‘no’ and continued to be my friend — he actually valued me and our friendship.”
" Over the next twelvemonth , the friendship continued , and he became one of my closest buddies . I realized my feelings had interchange and eventually tell him so . He was take aback because he had really take the initial ' no . ' We go out for two days and have been marry for six . "
— weindrasi
5.“We met teaching at the same high school when I was 23, and he was 29. We were friends that first year and then dated five years after that, during which time we both got MAs, changed jobs, etc. We did two years of long-distance across the country during the height of the pandemic and got married in 2022. I discovered 13 months later that he had been cheating on me the entire time I’d known him.”
" It was dismay and shocking ; no one in my class or his had a clue . I kick him out of our share flat and moved back across the state to hold up with my parent . I ’m presently waiting for my divorce fiat to arrive in the chain mail . I ’m 30 . "
— moderndaisy76
6.“My husband is the only person I ever dated. He was my first for everything. We met online, did long distance, and married in a year. We’re celebrating six years this June, and he’s not perfect, but he’s perfect for me. This timeline (understandably) sounds wild to some. But for context, I was 24, and he was 27. We both had degrees, no debt, cars, and full-time employment, and we were specifically looking to get married. Part of the reason it worked so well and quickly was that we had matured independently and were in stable positions in life. We were ready.”
" I wo n’t knock every ' loyal ' relationship that does n’t have this type of context , butI love it ’s not typical and does n’t knead for everyone . "
— jcismybestfriend
7.“I met my husband during our first year of college. He was my first boyfriend, but I wasn’t his first girlfriend. We dated for a year, then broke up. We both dated or almost dated several different people but found our way back to each other during our last year of college, right as I was deciding whether to commit to a year-long job overseas.”
" We get back together , but I still went to the other side of the planet ( fortunately , Skype had been invented).When I returned home , we were wage within a month . We’re celebrate 14 years married this summer with four Thomas Kid . Still stupidly well-chosen . "
— sparklyshark64
8.“Married my high school sweetheart at 19, we started dating at 16. Everyone in our family was pretty upset, and we received a lot of ‘this will last a year’ and ‘there are more fish in the sea; you need to venture out first.’ Long story short, the majority of friends and family who had negative things to say have all been divorced, and we’re still going strong together for almost 22 years. There have been ups and downs, but the main thing is we never give up on each other. When you get married that young, you change, and your partner changes.”
" You have to keep fall in love life with the Modern versions of yourselves and defend each other in growth . We have two wonderful kids , and I cogitate our family is awesome . We all have so much fun together and are such a tight group ! The only thing that was really hard was being dirt pitiful initially , but I would n’t change it ; it made us who we are and very appreciative of all we have accomplished since . "
— 37 , Minnesota
9.“I met him when I was 19 while interning in Florida. Ultimately, I moved from my home in California to his hometown in Tennessee. We got married when I was 23 years old. It was great. We were essentially growing up together. I supported him in his career choices and willingly moved from state to state a couple of times for his advancement. He was a great support to me when I had an injury that took me away from work. As we endured different changes and challenges, it felt like we were growing together as siblings, not husband and wife. Then came the miscarriages. The emotions that came from those miscarriages brought forth the little feelings of resentment we had gained in the previous years and lost our spark.”
" Ultimately , we became bros . We disjoint after six geezerhood . Our relationship ended with a hug and buss . And I end up marrying the 2d guy wire I ever dated . Apparently , I do n’t date ; I get hitched with . "
— quirkyhawk21
10.“We met in 1992, and I moved in with him after a month of dating. We got married in 2004, and while it was rough, including a three-year trial separation. He’s the best, and I love him.”
— smellytortoise841
11.“I was extremely naive growing up, and I didn’t really date in high school. When I was 19 and in college, I met my current spouse. I fell hard. His family was toxic, so we spent a lot of time alone or with my family. I started skipping school at his suggestion, and I went along with it because he didn’t have a car, and I would drive him to work. I flunked out of college. He quit work. My parents were tired of footing the bill for us, so we struggled to make it ourselves. He’s immature and used to being micromanaged by his abusive mother. It took quite a while for him to grow up. He got a great job and insurance for the first time. Fifteen years into our relationship, he was diagnosed with a serious disease.”
" After HUGE wellness setbacks , we moved back in with my crime syndicate . I do n’t know if I ’m still in passion . Being a full - time health care provider is exhausting and thankless . We have nothing . Sometimes , I play the what - if game and wonder what my life would have been like if I had n’t gone out on that first date . "
— 46 , Michigan
12.“We’ve been married 15 years, and I hope we’re just getting started. We have grown up together in some ways, and I see how that has made married life easier. My friends who married later had more time to orient their lives around their own preferences with no one to consider but themselves — and that can be a hard mindset to shift out of. Not bringing any baggage, hurt, or hangups into the relationship made it easier to be genuine and authentic from day one. While we were a great fit for one another, and our personalities lent themselves to compatibility, we also believe love is a choice, not a feeling. So we started choosing one another early and are still doing it today. Whether or not I feel ‘in love’ doesn’t impact whether we act lovingly towards one another.”
" Over and over again , we have led our pump back to those affectionate impression . We have lived so much life sentence in a unforesightful amount of time : seven tyke , cancer , and major life upheavals . I ’m grateful that I will have this man who has battled it alongside me , and we have this huge collection of shared computer memory . I ca n’t imagine a sweeter life . "
— 36 , Texas
13.“I met him at 17, and despite everything that’s happened, I still have such emotional nostalgia for our time back then. He truly was my first and only love. We married in our mid-20s, and at 30, we spent the next five years trying for a child. We endured pregnancy losses, grief, and stress, but we finally had a wonderful rainbow baby. Just before they turned 2, he abruptly walked out and refused counseling. He always seemed so keen to have a child, but I think he pulled away once it became a reality that I expected more than his bare minimum support at home. I later discovered he was with his new coworker, whom I had been dubious about while on maternity leave. I look at him now, and I’m still unsure how or when we became so incompatible — it’s like it crept up on me.”
" He ’s still the most handsome man I ’ve ever seen , butI’ve had to sorely take that I merely do n’t jazz him . Did I ever ? But I do n’t regret it ; our shaver is my world . "
— Anonymous , Canada
14.“We got together when we were 15. We were married for seven and a half years and together for 17.5 years. Thought we were happy. The problem with getting together so young is you haven’t finished becoming you. I learned last year that my husband was cheating on me and was a narcissist (legitimately). I was controlled and gaslighted for years. There was serious red flags from very early on I accepted as I didn’t know any better.”
" I ’m now in therapy , and I ’m with an adult who genuinely cares and valuate me . "
— 0sureal
15.“I married my first boyfriend. We met when I was 20 at a community concert in the park. We dated for two years before we were engaged and were married while I was still in college. He made me feel seen, safe, and cherished. He took feedback better than most people I knew, and he was thoughtful and kind. It’s why I felt confident in marrying him. I figured that if he had this team approach, we could tackle the challenges life threw at us.”
" We have two kids and a marriage that we are proud of because it retain germinate as we grow and change . My advice : wed someone who is interested in have it away every variant of you — not just the one they met you as . "
— 36 , California
16.“We were happily married for 27 years when he started a relationship with a woman he met on TikTok. He told me he was moving to Florida to be with her — he even bought the plane ticket but never got on the plane. We are three years into our separation, and he refuses to leave, and I don’t make enough to go out on my own. So, I’m stuck with this miserable turd.”
— 51 , Wyoming
17.“We were married at 19 and 20, and we had 55 wonderful years. He was my one and only love. I lost him in November 2023, and I’m devastated; there is now a piece of me missing. We also had two wonderful sons and now have five grandchildren.”
— 74 , Anonymous
18.“I have been married to my first and only boyfriend for 21 years next month. It’s been hard, of course, but it’s also been the best adventure. We were both very young when we got married (me 19, him 21), so we had a lot of learning and growing to do. But we got to do that growing and learning together, thankfully! We are both better people today because of what we have been through together. One of my only pieces of marriage advice is to communicate.”
" lecture about your feelings often , and make each other laughter . The other poppycock falls into situation when you ’re communicating and being truthful . Through it all , we have stuck together . Having that rock to lean on and being his rock has been a benediction . It mishandle my idea that I get to spend all my metre with my good champion . "
— crunchysunflower21
And finally…
19.“Does it count if you dated other people afterwards but married the first one? Yes? Okay well, he was in my 7th grade class with me and kept getting me kicked out because he was telling me dirty jokes, and I reacted. We broke up because I didn’t want to be his little Alabama barefoot housewife. We did our own thing, but he waited to marry me. Twenty years later, we stood at the ‘altar’ in the front yard of his dad’s house, and FedEx showed up as I was about to walk down the aisle barefoot. We were made for each other. It sounds cheesy, but it’s true. All the relationship issues we had with other people don’t exist in our marriage.”
" We ’re the sort of happy that ’s annoying but still real . We ’ve accomplish so much together and parent so well together that I ca n’t aid but feel prosperous . My only regret ? hold off 20 years to do what we know we should ’ve done when we were 16 days old . He ’s the love of my life , and I ’d like to imagine he ’d say the same thing if you ever caught him being vulnerable enough to talk about it . "
— 38 , Alabama
remark : Some reply have been edited for duration and/or uncloudedness .
