" Everyone in my life believes I am colourblind . I can not tell a single soul . Nobody knows . "
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4."[Today I f*cked up] by yelling into my Teams meeting, ‘Jesus Christ, check my fucking calendar!’ I was not on mute."
" Someone was messaging me on the side asking if I could receive at certain time ( my very special complimentary sentence is on my calendar ) . I exclaimed in pure defeat , ' Jesus Christ , check my f*cking calendar ! ' The meeting set out really placid and I realize what happened . I just gave a little shamefaced ' my speculative , cerebrate I was muted ' and went silent . The individual I was yelling about messaged me on the side and apologised , which made me feel even worse .
I apologised , and suppose it was very unprofessional . I tried to explain how stressed I am with deadlines ( very ) and was vent but I still find like a total ass , which is exact . This was a small radical of comely people so I do n’t think anyone will sound off to my boss or anything like that , I just get to live with my embarrassing f*ck - up . "
u / ospreyguy
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8."[Today I f*cked up] by trying to deposit a $10 coin to my bank."
" I found a coin in my childhood room that was marked as being deserving $ 10 , put it in my jacket pocket , and headed back to my flat . The next day I walk to my bank to switch over some euro for dollars and figured I might as well fix the coin too .
When I asked the teller if he could wedge it for me he said ' ooh you really do n’t want to do that … a quarter ounce of pure amber . It ’s deserving a hell of a lot more than ten dollars . '
He pointed me to a uncommon coin / gold workshop a few block away and told me to bring it to them . I ended up sell it for $ 549 in cash , walk back to the bank depositing it into my account , and thank the teller . "
u / Dizzy_Explanation_81
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12.“I told people I got hit by a car but I actually ran myself over.”
" I was out to dinner with my booster when I agnize I had to get something from my car . I ’d already been drinking as we ’d gone to a wine maker . I catch in the railway car and could n’t see what I was looking for .
The machine Mungo Park has no lights so I decided to turn my car on and back up a niggling then use the headlights to get hold it ( my sound was at heart and I was inebriated ) . I put the car in Mungo Park ( found out very quickly I in reality left it in indifferent ) and then got on the reason . The car started roam back and I dumbfound up to chase after it . I perplex around the door and managed to put one foot in , I was trying to stomp on the brake when I somehow tumbled out of the motorcar and ended up underneath it . My 2900 - pound SUV wrap over the back of my leftover leg . I was so inebriated I had n’t even processed what just find and I got back up to keep chasing after it . It tardily backed into another fomite and finally barricade .
Nobody was alfresco or saw me . I drove to a dissimilar parking spot , go at bottom , and told my friends we needed to get the cheque . They aver I looked rumpled and asked me what go on . I read someone hit me with their railway car and they postulate security footage and to ' find out who did this to you ! ' . fortuitously there is none and they do n’t know that I ’m both the victim and the main suspect in my own smasher and play .
Before you necessitate , yes , the next day I travel to the A&E to get checked out . No broken bones but I did get a big musculus combat injury so the doctor monitor my CPK layer ( which were double what they should be ) and he also thinks I should press charges on whoever ran me over . "
u / Ohok_hmm
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15.“I lied about being colourblind to everybody I know.”
" It began in elementary , where I order all my supporter and start hinting towards my parent . I get doing extensive research on sure types of colour blindness , and their grossness . I chose the most common character , a red - unripened colourblind case . I learned precisely how they saw and even began to be able to picture what each shade would look like in colourblind imagination . As I grew old enough to take in these lies were n’t on the button okay , I had already had everyone around my finger . I was too abstruse into this prevarication . presently after , I was gifted colourblind meth by family . As the years went by , I find an awful fellow who I ’ve been with for three geezerhood now , and we ’re planning to marry presently . He and his mob consider I am colourblind . Everyone in my living believes I am colourblind . I can not say a single soul . Nobody knows . "
u / StandingMannequin
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18.“We can’t seem to come up with a disposable drinking straw material that hits the sweet spot between lasting five minutes and lasting 500 years.”
u / Nicholas - Hawksmoor
H/T to Reddit and the Redditors above for their contributions.
Note : submission have been edited for length and/or pellucidity .
